Should I be an atheist?

I am Jewish. I pray greatly to God. I just feel He hasn't proven Himself. I want an afterlife. But, I just don't know God can provide that. Even as an atheist, I probably wouldn't know about an afterlife and be worried about death. My parents love God and Judaism. My grandparents are devout Jews also. I just don't know if I could tell anybody. Should I be an atheist? Should I tell anybody? I also know when I turn 21 I could become a Freemason. But, if I'm an atheist, I think only God lovers can join. The immense praying and Israeli people and Jews I met who say God is everything have made me feel like nothing and if God has many kids, in ALL of history, (and I can't stress that enough) why would He care about me? I just need guidance from somebody on what to be. Please help! P.S.: I am a 13 year old boy who already had his bar mitzvah. Once again, please help. I feel super lost. HELP!